2005-02-19 - 1:24 p.m.

Back from Emergenza

Just got back from Pittsburg. It sure was cool to play in a bar...and it was definetly was a different experience. I checked our votes today, and we only got 13 votes. Ha ha ha. We can't captivate an audience that wants to just sit around and drink I guess. But hey, now I can say that we've played in Pittsburg and there were people there that liked us.(we only had 3 people there to support us for sure, so there was at least ten people who actually liked us. haha) In other news, I'm pretty much miserable. I can't stand not having Deanna. I just seriously can't take it anymore. I just don't understand any of this,and how she can be so cold. She even told me that she wants to go out with someone else. What the fuck did I do to deserve this? It doesn't make sense. I haven't done anything to her to make her even think about breaking up with me, so it must be that she's being selfish. She tries to justify her actions by telling me to do the same thing...but I just can't hurt her. I can't. Why? Because I really really actually do love her. I wish that there was someone who was willing to do that for me. To never want to ever hurt me, even if it hurts them to not hurt me. It would be nice to feel like someone cares about me. And when I say care about me, I don't mean "I wish that I was able to hurt them the way that they hurt me". I wish that no one was hurt. Maybe that would make me happy. It will never happen though.

 

what is behind me - what lies ahead!

Back from Emergenza - 2005-02-19
Deanna is trying to kill me - 2005-02-14
Numb - 2005-02-13
True Love - 2005-02-07
District Chorus Tommorow - 2005-02-01